I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My penis needs a shock collar
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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