Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
