whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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