I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
