Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
