I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
how drunk are you?
Several
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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