you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
sarcasm needs its own font
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
