oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Dignity is for republicans.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
