so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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