He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize