You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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