And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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