hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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