According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
this is an emotional support booty call
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