i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
