I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
