Welp...herpes.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
