my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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