i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
