Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
