I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I have aggressive nipples.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
