u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
