I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
