he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
