My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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