he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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