Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
