Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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