So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
