and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
