Quick, to the slutcave!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
