eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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