first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
