put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
