Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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