MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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