i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
