What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
