he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
