I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
