VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
