:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
