I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
