Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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