i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
