I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My pussy is not your playground.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
