my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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