I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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