you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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