Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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