I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
its liver damage thursday
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
