i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
