White coat. Heels.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
