thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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