Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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