Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my shit smells like andre
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
please don't ironically join a cult
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