you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
