I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
