I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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