WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
