dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
