I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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