I wish I could punch you in the face.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
