im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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